Finding the Venue, Part 2: Hidden Gems

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My future husband and I had found our venue. Well, so we thought. And why wouldn't we? We had researched endlessly online after joining tons of wedding websites; we read all the reviews and checked out all of the reception halls' website. After all of the preliminary searching, we thought we had found our gem before we even visited. Even we knew well enough that we had to visit before falling too in love with a place, so we set up a time and met with the incredibly sweet, helpful events coordinator less than a week after our engagement. The reception venue was attached to a lovely hotel, had the best prices we'd seen online, had a ceremony site, and included catering (we'll talk about how this saves money in Part 3.) The rooms themselves were plain, as they could double for business meetings, but with the rave reviews we'd heard online and in person, we weren't too worried about the final decorated product.

Before we put down our deposit, my future father-in-law encouraged us to check out one more reception venue. He knew the owners, so he figured he could get us one of the famous deals he's so good at haggling for. We only agreed to go so as not to be rude, and--unfortunately--we went in without an open mind. The website was dismal, there was no information to be seen, and I had never heard a thing about the place either way. No, we weren't too excited about it.

You'll read all about getting that "gut feeling" online when it comes to wedding planning. You're supposed to get it when you try on the right dress, when you see the right centerpiece, etc. I personally think that you only really know something is right when it becomes the only option you can visualize long-term even after others are introduced. Sure, there might be a "gut feeling" that comes first, but that's instinct and that's really not reliable. Wedding planning is emotionally overwhelming, you know?

So I didn't trust my instincts or allow my mind to completely open as we got out of the car for our meeting at the second hall. There was no overwhelming and immediate sense of certainty, but every step into the building just felt a little more right. I had imagined a soft, romantic, intimate setting for our reception, and with the marble floors and soft white decorations, the new venue was just that. It only took a moment for me to realize that I had let "wedding fever" go to my head when I set my heart on the first venue. Suddenly, a high-tech website and attached hotel no longer mattered; what mattered was that the wedding we both had always dreamed of could actually come true in this hall.

Photo by kiamedia

No, Venue #2 wasn't perfect: we couldn't have the ceremony on-site, we couldn't start as early, and the guest minimum was higher. What I would have never learned without visiting was how Venue #2 trumped #1 in all the other ways that really mattered to us: decor, location, and--most of all--price. Needless to say, we put our deposit down one week later.

You shouldn't visit every venue; it's a good idea to use the internet to narrow down reception halls by location, price range, and capacity. You don't want to fall in love with a place and find out it's way out of your financial reach later, right? If you have a wedding date in mind, it is also good idea to use your phone to figure out availability. What's not a good idea is failing to visit more than one or falling in love at first sight. Visit a handful of venues when they are decorated for a wedding (any Saturday evening during a summer) to get a real idea of what everything will look like for your own reception. Compare, compare, compare. You never know when you'll find a hidden gem.

Finding the Venue, Part 1: All About Timing

So you get engaged, you're all excited, and you want to be congratulated and show your ring off to anyone. It sounds like a stress-free time, where you can revel in love and dreams of the future. Of course, nothing about a wedding is simple, and within the first 24 hours people will already be asking you if you've set a date.

Guess what? Setting a date is about much more than picking a day that is convenient and important to you and your spouse. If putting together a wedding was that easy, wedding planners would be out of business. Setting a date and finding a venue go together hand-in-hand; you have to pick whether the time or place is the more important of the two, yet you can't choose either without keeping the other in mind.

Are you devoted to a certain date? If it's more than a year-and-a-half away, chances are you have your choice of available venues. If the date is less than a year and a half away, chances are that your choice of venues will be fairly limited because other couples are already penciled in.  Dreaming of a certain venue? You'll need to be very flexible about the date for the same reason.We got engaged May 4, 2012 and went looking for a venue the next week. The venue we initially loved was booked solid until the first week of August 2013, and it's not even a well-known venue! Exceptions to this rule are off-season weddings (November-April), but this limits your venue in another way: unless you're in the South, forget about an outdoor ceremony.

Yes, just like marriage, time and place are about compromise. We had to set a date during the summer because of siblings in college, and as a result, we knew we had to find a venue immediately if we wanted to get married the following year. We eventually found a place we loved different than the one above, but because we were stuck on a date, we didn't get to choose between the two available rooms. While we love the one we chose, we would have been in trouble if we would have waited any longer.